This just in...

Will the Chicagoland Chamber of Commerce be sending bags of money and adulation to French Presidential candidate Nicolas Sarkozy in a desperate bid to bring not only expensive french bus shelters to Chicago but also special Sarkozy Water Cannons (shooting Chanel No. 5?) to control the Labor rabble? Who will the Higginbottoms look down on now that Dorothy Tillman is out? What Gore-Tex safety-taped jacket will Frank Kruesi wear to the unemployment line? Who else will be booted out to accommodate the wrath of the fearless leader of the fifth floor?