This just in ...

A precinct captain was seen running, yes running, down Clark street with an Olympic torch headed for the fifth floor of city hall in a practice run for 2016. A baby blue helmet was seen bobbing behind the precinct captain a mere hundred yards away. One hopes the prior Mayor's order to "shoot to kill all arsonists" is not being applied here. In 2016 the Olympic torch will be used to light a cauldron in the Mayoral chambers rather than the customary lighting at the stadium.